My account is weird

Forgive me, but I have been unable to access this account. If you have ever had your accounts broken into, you share my frustration.

I was resetting my password and after getting an error message my email address does not exist here. I was in.

I have no idea what this means. But, whatever. I am back in now. I have missed writing here.

Let’s make it a good day.




The mounting excitement builds, as the day draws nearer. I am going back to Spain to live. I have wanted for some time now to return there.  I have not been truly happy any place else.

I had to stop and evaluate my decision to to remain in the US and promote my books. I have done that. I figured out why I was not happy, in spite of accomplished milestones.

My dream life is to live as an expatriate recluse. Write in a tower of a hidden castle. Ok not in a castle though, I like the idea of it.  I need space and time to write.

My thoughts are so in depth and complex yet, presented so simply. I need time with them. I need to break down the complexity. I study my thoughts and decide what I want to say.

When I am not in reality, any,different, from anyone else emotionally. I don’t want to be interrupted from thoughts now. I am digging so deep that more and more is oozing out. “Oozing as it spills into a pool where it fills.” A line from one of my poems – The raining volcano.

My books have passed the review board for publishing. I have found I want to dig deeper. I think I can do better. I thought I would jump at the chance. I have not done that.

I am more choosy now with my writing. I never imagined, I would feel this way. I can tell you it’s really good. I didn’t know I had it in me, honestly. Not like this. I don’t even know what I write. I go back and read it. “I wrote that.” I say,  now.

I am happy about it but, I feel burdened by,  what to do with it. I am leaving to think about it. I love Spain, the magic in the air there chose me. I had no intention of living there when I went the first time.

Every time I leave, I want to cry. I think of it everyday when gone. I am a missing lover needing to be touched. Finding my way back to my one true love. How it feels everyday, some days are better than others.

This is not one of them.

Apply or nominate a colleague for  a 2016 CLA award or scholarship

Dear Colleagues:

We are excited to honor the many accomplishments and achievements of our colleagues in the California library community. Just one week left to apply or nominate a colleague for a CLA award or scholarship this year.

The deadline for the awards and scholarships listed below is March 18, 2016 at 5:00pm PST. 

Please see below for more information about:

·       scholarships for students;

·       awards for support of literacy and intellectual freedom;

·       awards for excellence in technical services, technology and public relations; and

·       awards for exceptional service and contributions and support of the profession.

Thank you very much to our award sponsors and to all awards committee members.

Full information is available on scholarship and award pages of CLA’s website.

CLA awards and scholarships currently open for applications and nominations

The CLA Scholarship for Minority Students in Memory of Edna Yelland supports ethnic minority students in the attainment of a graduate degree in library or information science.

The Begun Scholarship supports continuing library school students who have demonstrated a commitment to becoming children’s or young adult librarians in a California public library.

The California Library Hall of Fame honors the historical significance and lifetime achievement of the many librarians, library workers, and supporters who have helped promote and improve library services in California.

The CLA Technical Services New Leader Award recognizes a new TSIG leader who has actively and enthusiastically embraced their role within the Technical Services Interest Group and CLA. Sponsored by Brodart.

The CLA Technical Services Award of Achievement recognizes colleagues who have made outstanding contributions in those area of librarianship that have been especially challenged by the need for innovation and adaptation in dealing with rapidly changing technology and work environments. Sponsored by OCLC.

The CLA Technology New Leader Award cultivates new leadership in the field of library and information technology. Sponsored by The Galecia Group.

The CLA Technology Professional Award acknowledges superior achievement in those areas of the library profession that encompass technology. Sponsored by Springshare.

The Outstanding Librarian in Support of Literacy Award recognizes and honors a librarian who has demonstrated passion, excellence, and dedication in support of adult literacy. Sponsored by BALit, SCLLN, and NCLC.

The PRExcellence Awards honor the highest quality efforts of California libraries in promoting and communicating their message.

The Zoia Horn Intellectual Freedom Award honors California people, groups, and organizations that have made significant contributions to intellectual freedom.

The CLA President’s Award recognizes outstanding contributions, leadership, and achievement in support of California libraries by a Trustee, Friend, Elected Official, or other lay person(s) who has given his or her time and talents to further the advancement of California libraries.

The CLA Member of the Year Award recognizes an individual member of the California Library Association for her or his outstanding contributions, leadership, and achievements in service to California libraries.



California Library Association

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Our Thoughts

According to Dr Daniel Amen 51% of the United States population does suffer from ADD, Depression, Anxiety, Drug abuse or some other form of mental illness.

I am no exception.
Untreated, these disorders can have devastating effects on our lives. Putting us more at risk for Alzheimers Disease, Death etc.

The thing about it is we are the majority. Most people will or do have some form of mental illness. It is not abnormal to have anxiety attacks, racing thoughts or depression at some point in our lives. However, do not suffer alone.

What is abnormal is how we deal with it. Our thoughts about it. The stigma that comes with the label of mentally ill. I don’t mean full blown psychotic. Talking to the voices in your head or having hallucinations auditory and or visual.

Out of touch with reality, by definition is psychotic. Not knowing the difference between what is or is not real. That is not what most people with mental disabilities are suffering from.

It also does not mean that one can go untreated because we are not out of touch. We are not, without consequences making us have our own unwanted thoughts. Your emotional brain works too hard. That is all it is that is going on.

Most if not all drug abuse is self treatment for anxiety, depression or something else. People who use speed often have ADD. The medical treatment is the same types of drugs from a doctor. So our drugs of choice can help find out more about what is really going on with us. Mine is acid. Lol!

Believing that one day we just snap out of it is not true. Don’t believe that. We learn how to function in secret distress as we get older. To appear okay.

ADD is often misdiagnosed as Bipolar disorder because the symptoms are the same. I had the unfortunate experience of being treated for the wrong diagnosis.

I had post partum, depression so severe, I didn’t talk to anyone. So when my family was asked by my doctor how, I was normally. Unaware at the time about my ADHD. Because I was never diagnosed in my childhood or treated.

I learned from my son’s diagnosis of ADD that I had it also. It tends to run in families. If your child has it then it may be a good idea to see, if you do also.

There are behavioral treatments, as well. Not only medication helps, with successful treatment. There is more than one way of doing things in combination or alone. The choice is personal. I chose to stop the use of medication because the abuse potential is too great. Also my heart disease. I have problems.

Just knowing my problems were very treatable and called something was half the battle. I follow rules to keep my mental health in check. I had to learn what it was first.

The first thing you can do for yourself is get a good night’s sleep and eat as healthy as possible. Exercise regularly. It does not matter what size you are now. The benefits to your health are tremendous in so many ways.

I tend to not want to exercise when, I am depressed. I don’t have the energy it feels like. I do have it though, but if I can’t find it myself. I intervene with medication then stop. Exercise works wonders for depression.

ADD often is accompanied by Depression. I had to teach myself how to read. I couldn’t just do it so, in a way that worked for me. First, I  read the end of the book and then the beginning. I use speed reading techniques to get through the rest.

I asked my instructors to outline what I needed to learn. So I studied those things specifically. I still use these behavioral strategies.  I am easily overwhelmed with too much at once. I don’t know where to begin first.

All because of my ADHD symptoms.  I believed I could do it. Didn’t know how so, I found the way. Our thoughts are most important because they are affecting everything, we believe.

Believe you are okay because, you are. There is always a way to do anything.  Believe it.